This weekend has really given me – US, Tom and I, the time to Breathe – and think – and plan out a few things.Sitting on the rocks to journal this morning, I ask myself why I’ve never done it before – (the sitting on the rocks part…) Fear? Yes, I think it boils down to fear. Fear of falling – of not having enough balance – Of what may be “in” the rocks – maybe even a “sign” that says “not allowed.”
There was no sign today – and there was no fear. There wasn’t even anyone to hold my hand as I maneuvered myself from one boulder to the next. Fear of them shifting under my weight gone – and you know what? …none of them moved….
Everything you want is on the other side of fear..I say this again and again…. I wanted to sit on those rocks. I wanted to feel the mist of the Gulf of Mexico on my body as it hit those rocks….. and as I sat and enjoyed the final hours of our time in St. Pete, FL, I enjoyed every aspect of this.
I breathed in the salty air, and smelled all of the smells that bring me to the sea — salt, rich musky seaweed and tanning lotion. The sound of children – distractions as I try to think and write… – but it’s “ok” – the wonder of a child discovering these rocks — NOT being afraid to climb, and discover. Finding JOY in being outside – in the fresh salty air – feeling the sun warming my skin as it continues it’s morning rise. Beginning to feel “sun-kissed,” this is where I was supposed to be and see and feel.
……a Mom and Dad have joined the children, and mom begins taking photos of dad with their boys – forever memories – frozen – “that time at St. Pete Beach, FL.” …. that time, when we took the time to be together – to laugh, to live, to love. To enjoy what we have and what’s been given to us.
I often joke about finding a rock in the sun and just laying on it, yet, I never “Do It.” And then, as if magically – here I find myself in front of turquoise water, sitting on rocks – listening to the seagulls, smelling the sea and feeling the breeze blow.
It’s true I breathe a little better in spaces like this.
I am also learning I don’t “HAVE” to be “here” to be in “my space.”
“My space” is what I make it. The sounds, the smells, the temperature – what I feel and where I sit.
These spaces I get to visit only accentuate what I love the most, and that is HOME. Every time I return, I bring a piece of where I have been with me. It carves who I am, what I want to do, where I want to go next, when will I be able to go again and HOW will I make it happen!!??
Work Hard — Play Hard …. Then do it all over again.
The seagulls scream a little louder… (I’ve always thought they sounded like they were laughing at some inside joke….)
“Don’t judge animals.”
….the little girl in the rainbow skirt yelled back as she fearlessly hopscotched across the rocks to her friends (and nearly knocking my shoes off the rock…)
Perhaps that should go even further and carry itself through in just the simplicity of “don’t judge.” ….just “be” …. Be in your space. “Do what works for You.” “Do YOU.” Be YOU.
Embrace Your Journey